Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Unutterable Loss for the Silent Nightingale

 This Sunday, the world woke up to an unimaginable world, especially the world of South Asia and its wandering heirs, the unimaginable loss of Lata Mangeshkar.

I will not bore my patient reader with details and achievements of Lataji's life; those are easily googled. 

This news came to me on Monday, as I was getting dressed and checking on the world on my phone. I remain shocked. I could not believe it on Monday, and I don't believe it now. How can we endure a world with her singing? 

Lata Mangeshkar's voice was among the first I heard with the cacophonies that drown us at birth. We all grew up trying to emulate that sustained pitch, those true notes, that clear, clear voice and predictably, failed. That pure voice formed the background music for our lives, our moods, and expressed the way we felt the only way our feelings could be expressed. We have no greater language for who we are. 

Lataji lent her voice to the poetries of patriotism, of intense and self-erasing devotions, of the playful nature of the cosmos and its solemn rhythms, of clear nights and stormy seasons, of dreams, of apocalypse and heartbreak. Language was no barrier: Lataji sang in over 30 languages. Her voice is ubiquitous throughout the Indian subcontinent. She sang late into her life, beyond natural expectation, her voice untiring and true through decades. Hers is one of the first names children learn to lisp as they chant names. Her name needs no compacting into cute diminutives; if anything, one adds the honorific -ji to her first name to render her recognizable. 

Today, I look around me and know that I need all those poetries to anchor my world. Lataji's voice is the axis. I mourn that when I hear that voice now, it will be an echo from the past. Our life-giving nightingale is silent forever and, like the grieving emperor in the tale, we yearn for the lost voice as we yearn for life. 

This is no tale and so, unlike the emperor in the tale, we trudge on, deprived, searching the heavens, beseeching them to return the lost voice, and weeping at their stubborn silence. Our unspeakable grief is fed by the fact that the only expressions we can use remain the songs of immense loss that lost voices breathed life into. 

For the world left behind, there is to be no relief, no solace from this impoverishment.     

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